Life Infinitum

For many years, a young man named Brian was a vivacious expression of life at Seaside. Truly, when I say vivacious, I mean extraordinary, as this one-of-a-kind young man was a survivor. On May 21, 2002, Brian was involved in and survived a crash with an 18 wheeler. Three weeks after the accident, Brian woke up blind from a coma his spine broken and pelvis shattered in a multitude of places. What followed was a nearly four year rehabilitation that most would find so intense they would not have had the stamina. But not Brian. He embraced the opportunity to redefine his expression and like everything else he had ever taken on, with full zest and the highest of intentions to succeed.

I first met Brian in 2006 when he started coming to Seaside for our services on Sundays. He was an expression of joy and music. He always attended with his beaming mom who, for years, I thought was his girlfriend. Brian wasn’t a guy in who wanted any sympathy for the obvious physical challenges he encountered. No way. He was a carpenter, golfer, snow boarder and played in rock bands. He had a fuller life than one could even imagine. I remember as if it was yesterday, Seaside held a golf tournament and Brian was the first to sign up! Not only that, but he carried his foursome with his excellent play and no visual sight. Nothing could douse his spirit. Limitation was just not a word in his vocabulary. His love for music never waned and he used his hands to create art I greatly admired. I once told him how much I liked the stone necklace he was wearing and he shared with me humbly that he’d made it. What grace. The next week he brought a new one he’d created just for me. It meant so much to me that I placed it with great care on my altar at home where it has been ever since, until just last month. You see, Brian was also a wonderful cook, so on a recent summer morning he sent his mom out to get the perfect ingredients for a special concoction he planned to create and when she returned, she found him sitting in his favorite chair having just released his life force. His spirit chose that beautiful moment to peacefully move on from this world.

I was given the privilege to lead the celebration of life service for Brian. I took the necklace he made for me off my altar and gently placed it around my neck. Wanting to feature it front and center, I picked a special shirt with an open collar so everyone could see his fine craftsmanship and further appreciate what an extraordinary expression of God he was. His mom recognized it immediately and was moved deeply when I walked in wearing it. The remembrance service started with some great music from the 70’s. When it was complete I stepped up to the lectern and pronounced that I could just see and feel Brian’s presence Brian standing in the back of the sanctuary grooving and waving his hands in the air. As if on que yet much to the astonishment of me and everyone in the place, the necklace Brian had handcrafted for me with ingredients of equal parts love, compassion, kindness and appreciation for the natural beauty in the world burst apart from my neck. I could just see him holding himself as he laughed from the deepest part of his soul at the sight of those beads and stones rolling all over the floor, down my shirt and pants getting stuck in my shoes and underwear. I spent much of the service picking up stones.

What an extraordinary experience. Life and Death. Yin and Yang. Can’t have one without the other and neither one separates us from the One or each other as we live move and have our being in the One. A loved one may be gone from our sight but that is all they are gone from. They are just as alive and aware as when they left our side. Brian is just as able to bare his living spirit’s expression wherever he has chosen to land. One thing for sure, love transcends time and space as we know it. The love that brought you together with a loved one here will surely keep you united through the multidimensional realms of self-expression. Brian’s direction of his celebration of Life service from the other side was as clear as the guitarist, who shortly thereafter broke out in a rockin’ rendition of Led Zeppelin’s, Stairway to Heaven. I bet Brian jumped those steps two and three at a time, especially after his beautiful show of presence at his celebration of life service!

Vintage Magic

Antique’ing in Montana is a dirtier yet much more rewarding job than strolling through our fine shops of San Diego. A kaleidoscope of colorful junk I have no place for in my world cries out to me over the cacophony of the voice inside my head telling me I am in need of nothing as I pull over to the side of the state highway because there is something there calling out to me energetically – but I haven’t a clue as to what. Walking through the musty treasure trove of Americana I feel as if the stuff could have come from just down the road apiece, each with its own acoustic guitar theme song and sappy but gentle love story. It’s not polished, perfectly placed or dusted.  But there is a magic calling of the imagination to times gone by as I run my fingers over the gently worn corners of history.  Picking up post cards from the turn of last century and reading about visiting Glacier National Park as it opened in 1915 is a vicarious thrill. I rest my elbows on a bar tucked away in the corner of the old shed and am instantly transported to the saloons of Wild West. I wonder with great humor who might last have taken a seat in that 125 year old red velvet chair that looks as if it could have come right out of a bordello.  Picking up a pair of hand- carved wood skis with leather bindings puts visions of traversing the back country in times long before chair lifts and ski patrol. Scattered bits of history litter the yard outside the shop like gas pumps from the heyday of when we use to drive automobiles to have a good time, not make good time, as Lightning McQueen from Cars would say.

Our new old oak table!

The vibrancy of the colors, even those faded by the years of use and wear, the smells, and touching old treasures makes junking a way of triggering childhood memories whether real or seen in the movies. Opening doors of a cabinet that was part of a family for a century releases what it has seen to those who can see. The vibration of its history is palpable; the sounds come alive from a time and room that is no longer.  There is magic in those vintage pieces and while much I was challenged to relate to, many transported me to days of old. And in all the silence and noise in the memories of others, I heard my calling as I glanced sideways to see an unmistakable treasure, a 100-year-old table that told stories even as it stood there still and covered in dust. The finest quality of oak, thick and signed as only a handcrafted gem of these days would be. I knew at once, many card games were played there, many cigars smoked, meals served and stories told. Children grew up around that table and in the natural passage of time it was forgotten out in the shed for many years piled high with junk. As I drove away with my new old oak table for our barn’s game-room tied to the roof of my SUV, I visioned the years that will be had around it in my lifetime. I know I will be as good a custodian to this piece of history as those who preceded me and I’m excited to add my vibrational stories for it to carry to future generations. Because, no doubt, someday it will find itself in another antique shop, with another’s palm gently running over the its worn edges and the energy of the laughter and life our family added to the recipe of its history will just be the newest ingredients to its finely tuned beauty.

Smoke Filled Sky

2014 view from our kitchen window and the current view from our deck

As I sit at my beautiful majestic mountain ranch, Mystic Mountain Retreat in Bigfork Montana, just thirty minutes from Glacier National Park, more than a hundred forest fires burn in the surrounding Rockies from various lighting strikes.  There is no present danger to our home or our property, but the smoke filling the Flathead Valley is getting thicker by the hour. In the horror of it all there is beauty as it makes for an incredible bright fluorescent red sun by day and an eerie blood red crescent moon by night. The record heat and low rain fall has created a cinder box among the thirsty and dying evergreen pine trees and brush. Hourly the local governance is rating the changing air quality, as what little breeze there is mixes up the glorious Montana air with the reverberation of a campfire. There is little relief for my burning eyes from the smoke-filled air where by the afternoons I can only see a short distance through what is currently being rated as extremely hazardous air quality. While all I ever want to do when I’m here is to be outside and breathe the fresh air, now I find my only retreat from the airborne grit is either behind the walls of my home and its man-made air filters or submerged in the lake.

As everything is covered in ash, which appears an enormous challenge, I must remind myself, there is no large or small in the kingdom of the Divine. Nature knows how to take care of herself, which is a good thing because there are not enough fans in the state of Montana to blow all the smoke away and where would be “away” anyhow? I must trust in a higher power prevailing here.

Sometimes in our personal lives, situations occur that obstruct our vision by the soot of what looks like life as it’s burning out of control. The conflict with feeling the need to fix and just observing what you think is your gain going up in flames is a common one.  The outside pressure impacts our lungs, making it difficult to breathe as anxiety-filled concerns create a challenge to thinking clearly. What then do we do when there is no apparent answer in human sight and every potential remedy we can think of in our smallness remains inadequate? One must do what they can to get out of imminent danger and then, with pure unadulterated conviction, know there is a higher power that sees beyond the smog filled sky. Nature knows how to put out the fire. Soon, the refreshing rains from the heavens will cleanse the air and raise the phoenix from the ashes of our lives. And in the chaos, the ruin, there will be Good. So in the meantime, I must trust and listen to my inner guidance just as all the animals of the forest do as they weather the natural firestorms of life.

An Old Story with New Meaning

In honor of throwback Thursday... 

I recently shared an old story of mine with a crowd and was surprised to find it had a new ending. It was 1979, Margaret Thatcher was the new Prime Minister, Bill Clinton had recently been elected Governor of Arkansas, Atari had just released Asteroids, and I was in my first year of ministerial school in Los Angeles at what was then Ernest Holmes College. Like most first year’s, I was required to take a homiletics (speaking) class, one I frequently missed due to its coincidental timing to big waves. Unable to make my newbie freshman class during the day, I tucked away my surfboard and attended the senior class in the evening.

1979, me in my first year of Ministerial School

My first class assignment was to deliver a Rudyard Kipling poem I had memorized, entitled “If”, and man oh man, was I brilliant in conveying its depth. The pauses, emphasis, diction and silence all created a magical moment that had the whole room hanging on every word. I sure was hot stuff at 19 and cocky as the day is long. I was feeling quite proud of myself. If only you could have heard it! It was smokin’ good!  I glanced at the instructor knowing I had just scored big time. He looked delighted and I could tell I had just won him over. Later, in the same class, so impressed he was with my prose and delivery, the instructor asked me to stand and improvise a talk about light for 3 to 4 minutes. I approached the front of the room and then promptly froze. I have never forgotten those moments and not particularly fondly; no words came to my mind nor out of my mouth. I stood there with sweat pouring down my face, my heart racing wildly and my brain turning to putty. A sea of faces stared at me, I was in a blackout, thinking nothing-and the more I tried to find something, the less would come to me…I wanted to impress everyone so badly-but I was vacuous. For the first and longest 4 minutes in my life, I was literally speechless.

The story and lesson I’ve told for the past three and a half decades happened after that moment, which was that I would never again be short of words – which is a good thing for a public speaker. But recently, upon some inner urgings I reveled in a new take on an old lesson.  That day, I got humbled to the core. It wasn’t by choice or even by accident, it was given to me and I got it. The gift of humility. What I learned is that no matter how good a message I may have just delivered, it means nothing in terms of the next talk. I was shown in no uncertain terms that cockiness can lock the gates to the Infinite. I was educated to the cellular level that the message is not me and that I have to get myself out of the way for the extra magic to enter the equation. I do my best to remain humble, but never in a false sense because I’m clear, as clear as every uncomfortable sigh could be heard during that four minutes of silence in 1979, that the next time - the words just might not come.

Parental Authority Can Always Be Questioned

There's no doubt about the clarity of nature's authority with its heat of summer and cold of winter, darkness of night  and brightness of day, hunter or hunted.  Kids who grew up in touch with the rhythm of nature learned their boundaries were non-negotiable. But like everything else, change is ever present in the world and in the lives of those growing up and those raising kids, especially as it pertains to boundaries.

Either I have been a fine teacher or my son has always known that my boundaries are not absolute and has fine-tuned the art of wearing me down. Recently, during his daily digital diet dose, he spotted a super fancy crane truck whose reach extends five-feet. He just had to call it his own. Here, I savored, would be my summer opportunity to teach him about math, the value of a dollar and the art of patience. It started off nicely with saving some of his allowance. Then it picked up velocity leading to his relentless pursuit to earn more money which meant I became the employer and the bank. After weeks of being hounded to borrow money, I left town for a conference returning to find he wasn't going to miss a beat to work me over since his mom had stepped out of this educational equation from day one.

The day finally came where he got close enough that I would kick in the rest just to get some rest from his incessant demands. We rolled up the pennies, counted the dollars, large and small, and carefully calculated the amount he had saved. We loaded up the car, and hair blowing in the wind with excitement, we drove to the bank, deposited his booty, and then returned straight home to order his dream crane truck online. After placing his order I was ready for peace to return to our home. I sat back in the chair for a moment basking in the moment of resolution, readying for the quiet expectancy that would ensue, and indulging, if not just for a moment, in the gratitude for the opportunity to shepherd this fine lesson for my son. I was, in a sense, reveling in my own small success when no sooner had we pushed send, I noted his footsteps padding away from me as he made his first journey to our mail box looking for his crane truck. I explained the store's policies as best I could. Given that it was Friday, the delivery, which could take as long as seven days would best be expected the following Friday. I noted the question mark in his eyes, still not comprehending why it wouldn't just appear in the mailbox as soon as we had ordered it. After explaining again, I punctuated the conversation by marking the calendar so he would understand. There, I thought, now peace will return.

But Trevor was not happy with this news and refused to understand nor accept it as the truth, repeatedly visiting the mail box a half dozen times that Friday. I figured I might not have Mother Nature with her absolute authority on my side in this life lesson on patience but at least the post master general was a pretty good second. I lost count how many times I heard, “Where’s the truck” that Friday and Saturday. Trevor spoke with such affirmation and authority that the truck was coming, but he'd worn me thin on patience and his perseveration had eroded any sense of success I'd felt in teaching him a new life lesson. I'd finally had enough by Saturday afternoon and instead of explaining for the umpteenth time that it would be six more days, I invited him to check the mailbox for himself.  To which, he jumped up, opened the front door, and there sitting on the doorstep, barely 24-hours after we placed the order was his big Amazon box.  Unbeknownst to me, it had been expedited by overnight delivery. So, who learned the greater lesson? I feel probably me. When one is relentless in speaking their truth with authority, heaven and earth and even the US post master general will move to make it so.

A Dog Blessing

So grateful to have been asked to officiate the blessing of the dogs at this year's Cardiff Dog Days of Summer. What a fun and rewarding day!!!!

The Heart Transcends Words

I just got back into town from a whirlwind four-day speaking gig in Guadalajara. I don’t know what I was thinking, but everybody speaks Spanish down there. With great humility I held my own during the conference thanks to the translator that instantly translated my messages from English to Spanish, and then backwards when others were speaking to me.  But, during the afternoon workshop, when an instructor asked us to turn and talk to the person next to us, I found myself looking into the eyes of a young woman from Venezuela who spoke only Spanish with no interpreter at either of our sides.

Like an elephant in the room, years of my attempts to become fluent in Spanish and the repeated anxiety it caused me in all previous situations I had been given to flex my second language’s linguistic muscles arose.  But, hearts do speak. And as I looked into Shirley’s eyes and studied the features of her face I could not help but feel her heart reaching out in an attempt to connect with me.  The desire in me to not disappoint her had me searching reams of Spanish curriculum tucked away in the recesses of my mind, without anxiety, for the words and phrases that could cross this divide. In finding even the most basic of words to begin conversation, I discovered her passion was teaching the children of Venezuela spiritual principle so they could go confidently through life.

By the time the process had come to a close, I couldn’t ever remember having so much fun attempting to speak Spanish.  I wasn’t too self-conscious because that silliness was overwritten by the joy I found in attempting to find words to convey my thoughts and feelings.  I don’t know how silly I may have sounded to Shirley but she was most gracious as her eyes twinkled in an attempt to understand what I was saying. I may never see Shirley again but I will always remember the heart’s desire to understand transcends all- even a language barrier.

Finding Your Inspiration

"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover  is yourself." Alan Alda

Inspiration is everywhere you look. From the common to the incredible, everything can take your breath away and leave you astounded. 

When you remain leery and guarded, you are not available for the fantastic. It's up to you to explore and be curious. What you'll find is your creative voice. When you are comfortable in your own skin, no longer second-guessing, people will feel the essence of your being and your passion for life. You will be a radiant transparency of the Divine. 

While some may feel your reality comes from the realm of fantasy, don't allow their projections to become your creative blocks diminishing your glow. Everyone is entitled to their own perspectives, but it has nothing to do with your genius. 

Embrace your joy, it's right for you to shine right now. This is not the time to hold back your creative gifts. The world needs the beauty you've been entrusted to deliver. 

It's time to go full out for what you love so you can turn your fantasy into a fantastic reality. You do this by feeling the power of something greater coming through you.

Find yourself a super hero theme song that just makes you feel great when you hear it. Come up with an empowering phrase that inspires you when you repeat it. Create a power move or stance that triggers your confidence. Get yourself a talisman that will remind you of your fantastic power, and allow it to activate you every day. 

It Takes Guts To Follow Through

"I live a creative life and you can't live a creative life without being vulnerable. I believe creativity and fear are basically conjoined twins; they share all the same major organs, and cannot be separated, one from the other without killing them both. And, you don't want to murder creativity just to destroy fear!" Elizabeth Gilbert

What if it's terrible? What if I blow it? What if I waste valuable resources? What if I embarrass myself? It takes guts to get going and keep going in life when you hear all the reasons why it's not a good idea. Creativity isn't something you do, it's who you are. The creative life is a vulnerable way of being. Allow your concern to be the fuel to the furnace of your creative spirit that drives you beyond your limiting concepts. 

Those anxious images can become the same fodder to empower you to follow through with your vision. Ask yourself, what's the payoff of holding onto your fright? your medium of expression...whether it's paints, business, writing, music, or textiles...it's your doorway to the Infinite.

Are you able to wander through to the other side wide-eyed and open? Discover a new significance while paying attention and interpreting, through your individual lens. That bright-eyed creative kid you used to be was fearless, where is s/he? 

Unless you uncover yourself from the accumulating mounds of responsibilities and busyness, how will you ever find the energy to explore your creative self? It takes guts to get out from underneath all you've taken on, but unless you've got fresh energy, you'll never find what it takes to follow through on what is tantalizing your soul for expression. 

Try this. Go to a Farmers Market where all has not been homogenized but diversity of expression is the selling feature. Embrace how unique each vendor is with his/her creative offering. H

How different is each one's display in telling the story of who they are? Pay attention as you allow your sense to heighten to the smells, sounds, and sights. Become aware of how differently the produce is packaged.

Rebel Roar

"The real power of the Buddha was that he had so much love. He saw people trapped in their notions of their small separate self, feeling guilty or proud of that self. he offered revolutionary teachings that resounded like a lion's roar, like a great rising tide that helped people to wake up and break free from the prison of ignorance." Thich Nhat Hanh

How can you be a rebel if you are stuck, tired and worn out? Sitting all day is not conducive to a healthy lifestyle. Your body must be in motion sometime through the course of the day. If sitting in a car, behind a desk, at a dining room table, on a couch or in front of a screen constitutes most of your day, your body isn't happy. If your body isn't getting its daily dosage of exercise, it's tough for it to support the rebel in you. Your body is a divine conduit that gets recharged and activated by movement. 

There is great value in listening to the voice within, but if you lack the energy to deliver on the inner direction, how will you be the bringer of the new? The rebel in your wants to express and be heard. There is a creative part of your spirit that desires to express in its unique way, but if your delivery system lacks vibrancy, it gets tougher, over the years, to break the habit of focusing on the lack of vitality. The rebel is enthusiastic and excited to be the channel for what's fresh and possible. 

Where has your tiredness impacted your zest for life and stopped supporting the part of you who is enthused to roar out the new creative expression? 

Get out and get your body moving today. Get your heart pumping an dthat means more than just 15 minutes. Go for a bike ride, walk on the beach, get out on the tennis court, anything that gets your muscles moving and circulates fresh air through your body and provides oxygen-rich blood to your brain. 

You Came to Give Not Get

"The key to abundance is meeting limited circumstances with unlimited thoughts." Marianne Williamson

As a child, did you dream of some wonderful things you were going to do and be when you grew up? What happened to those dreams? You came to this world to allow Spirit an avenue to creatively give life to those expressions. That fearless dreamer is still alive in you, waiting to share its gifts in the world. 

Somewhere along the path, the purpose in life got switched from givign the gifts, talents and those things that turn you on and make time disappear to, "What can I get from this world, store and hoard?" The thinking shifted from "How much can I get paid," rather than "What can I contribute that brings me joy?"

Do what you love and life will support you. It doesn' t matter what turned that spark off. If you want it turned back on, step outside your normal behavior and disrupt your typical patterns of expression. You'll find that wellspring of abundant blessing again, right beyond where you've been operating. 

So, get curious and let that spark ignite and rekindle the latent passion, bypassing the rational mind while seeking the unexpected from within. Be like that child who was delighted in the surprise the dreams would bring. The heart reveals what you love in an affluent flow of limitless potential thorugh your dreams and visions when you are available. 

Here's something to try...Spend today writing with your non-dominant hand. go to a different grocery store and buy only food you don't typically purchase for a meal. 

Think Big and then Bigger!

"When I'm operating at my best, my work is my prayer. It comes out of the same place that prayer comes out of - the center, the heart." - Matthew Fox, PH.D. 

Why have you buried your creative talent? Where did you get discouraged? Was there someone who told you that you weren't capable? Life can intimidate the artist in you. The critical spirit becomes cruel when it starts comparing your gifts to others. Have you recently found the joy in actively seeking God's support in developing your gifts? 

Life tends to support you in greater ways when you bring greater value than the last time around. How can you develop your gifts that will make you more desirable? 

The beauty of the creative expression is that it calls for you to be unique in bringing what you've got to the next level. It's your spirit longing to emerge. 

Life loves a welcoming channel to move through. Your hgih expression is the activity that God is having through you. As you develop your ability to deliver your creative expression in a greater way, your joy and satisfaction increase while making your gifts naturally become more valuable. 

Think big and then think bigger, and do what it takes today to move your creative expression to the next level. 

Any Step Leads to the Next Step

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." Lao Tzu

When it comes to taking the next step, you can struggle over it and be trapped in analysis and paralysis or you can move from worry to warrior mode. You don't always get the nice, neat directional map from Point A to Point B in life. What you do get to know is that your next step leads you to what's next. 

Your willingness to go for your creative expression and its next step in life will teach and make you better at delivering your gifts.

So, go explore, investigate and taste the new flavors of life. It's the empty canvas that will teach you to paint, it's the blank screen that will call forth your writings, it's sitting in the silence that you learn what the inner voice sounds like. All you venture into will lead you to where you are to go.

The old saying is, ' you have to start where you are'. You've got to get going if you want some exposure to experience, possibilities and Divine interaction. no matter where your creative urges take you, you must be willing to let go of the prospects of perfection and be present for what's next. Surrender to the joy of the process and your soul will be bursting with exuberance. 

What self-expression in your life have you been holding back on because you think you aren't quite good enough? Stop that and take that first step to its expression today.  

Reclaim your Creativity

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Walt Disney

Using your imagination sure beats having other people use yours against you. But when you are overworked and underplayed, you become susceptible to the loud and subtle directions the world slips you. Reclaiming your creativity reopens your direct channel to the unfiltered Inspirational Source. There is a wellspring ready to flow through you with your creative expression. 

It's time to put demands on hold and become available for Spirit to flow through you. You'll come to recognize Spirit is there for you already. It's nothing you have to go in search of. You must just quiet the mind, its judgments and options, and make yourself available. Do not fall prey to the swirling chatter outside of you, but call forth from within that which desires passage through your self expression. 

The Creative ones depend on staying connected to a higher vibration than the typical mass expression. Too often the cacophony of emails, tweets, and beeps make you unavailable for the impossible. Social media can connect you, but often it will disconnect you from the realm of the Divine. If you are busy racing through life, then you are missing out on some of the exquisite moments right in front of you. 

Get mindful and be available for the gifts of God that come from your creative awareness. Art picks up where words leave off. It's an avenue for the ineffable essence of your soul. What we could use are more individuals who will specialize in the impossible. 

Here's an exercise for you. Blow out the mental blocks and cobwebs of your being, roll down the windows in your car, let the wind blow through, turn up the volume to your favorite music, and sing loudly along with your favorite songs. Then unplug, slow down and get inquisitive, because the inspirational is ephemeral and transitory.